Ted 'Theodore' Logan
Bill S. Preston
Rufus
Napoleon
Billy the Kid
Socrates
Freud
Genghis Khan
Joan of Arc
Abraham Lincoln
Beethoven
Captain Logan
Mr. Ryan
Missy / Mom
Mr. Preston
Deacon
Princess Joanna
Princess Elizabeth
Ox
Randolf
Buffy
Jody
Bartender
Tattooed Cowboy
Bearded Cowboy
Old West Ugly Dude
Kerry
Daphne
Bowling Alley Manager
John the Serf
Evil Duke
Mother at Waterslides
Waterslide Attendant
Music Store Salesman
Girl at Mall
Student Speaker
Aerobic Saleswoman
Aerobic Instructor
Mall Photographer
Store Clerk
Police Psychiatrist
Stupid Waiter
Ugly Waiter
Neanderthal #1
Neanderthal #2
Security Guard
The Three Most Important People In The World
Dance Photographer (uncredited)
Student (uncredited)
Deputy (uncredited)
Mr. Ward (uncredited)
Kid at Waterslides (uncredited)
Mall Goer (uncredited)