John
Ted (voice)
Samantha
Tami-Lynn
Donny
Patrick Meighan
Sam J. Jones
Guy
Rick
Frank
Shep Wild
Joy
Tom Jessup
Judge
Customer
Fertility Doctor
Narrator (voice)
Tom Brady
Jay Leno
Jimmy Kimmel
Kate McKinnon
Bobby Moynihan
Taran Killam
Dr. Ed Danzer
Karl Jackson
Comic
Adoption Agent
Female Nurse
Allison
Blind Guy
Waitress
Todd Kidder
Boston Newscaster
Boston Neighbor
Wedding Singer
NYC Doctor
NYC Nurse
Obi-Wan
Stormtrooper
Jury Foreman
Juror
Bailiff
Receptionist
Band Leader
Cyclist
Jogger
Hasbro CEO Assistant
Pundit
Cop (Boston PD)
Meighan Assistant
Reporter
Nerd (Wedgie)
Comic Con Fan
Security Guard
Borg
Hellboy
Vendor
Film Executive
Police Dispatcher
Diner Waitress
Bachelor Party Guest
Jump Rope Guy
Wedding Announcer
Ted Toy (voice)
Tiffany
Cake Girl (uncredited)
Piano / Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Hot Comic Con Girl (uncredited)
Courthouse Spectator (uncredited)
Baroness Girl (uncredited)
Wedding Guest (uncredited)
Ted's Court Gallery (uncredited)
Booth Girl (uncredited)
Flash Girl (uncredited)
My Little Pony Booth Girl (uncredited)
Bar Patron (uncredited)
Courtroom Observer (uncredited)
Reporter (uncredited)
Comic Con Booth Girl (uncredited)
Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Fairy at Comic Con (uncredited)
Fox Booth Girl (uncredited)
Kissing Couple (uncredited)
Scat Pack Girl #2 (uncredited)
Well Wisher (uncredited)
Dancer (uncredited)
Yacht Guest (uncredited)
Woman at Diner (uncredited)
Attendee (uncredited)