Gary
Mary
Tex Richman
CDE Executive
Kermit / Beaker / Statler / Rizzo / Link / Newsman (voice)
Walter (voice)
Miss Piggy / Fozzie / Animal / Sam Eagle / Marvin Suggs (voice)
Gonzo / Honeydew / Zoot / Beauregard / Waldorf (voice)
Swedish Chef / Rowlf / Teeth / Pepe / Bobo / Muppet Gary (voice)
Scooter / Janice / Miss Poogy / Wayne (voice)
Pepper / Camilla / Sweetums / Robot / Deadly / Harry (voice)
Tour Guide
Grandfather
Hobo Joe
Punch Teacher Host
Human Walter
Postman
Moderator
Greeter
TV Executive
Elderly Asian Man
Elderly Asian Woman
Junior CDE Executive
Reporter One
Reporter Two
Punch Teacher Kid
Gary Age 6
Gary Age 9
Gary Age 13
Laughing Kid
Waitress
Miss Piggy's Receptionist
James Carville
Smalltown Resident
Whoopi Goldberg
Selena Gomez
Animool
Neil Patrick Harris
Judd Hirsch
John Krasinski
Rico Rodriguez
Fozzie Moopet / Thog / Additional Muppet Performer (voice)
Additional Muppet Performer (voice)
Afghan Hound / Wanda / Additional Muppet Performer (voice)
Jack Black (uncredited)
Scout Troop Leader (uncredited)
Punch Teacher Contestant (uncredited)
Telethon Announcer (voice) (uncredited)