John Bennett
Lori Collins
Ted (voice)
Rex
Donny
Guy
Thomas
Tami-Lynn
Robert
Frank
Narrator (voice)
Norah Jones
Sam Jones
Tom Skerritt
Young John
John's Dad
John's Mom
Alix
Tanya
Asian Man "Ming"
Gina
Tracy
Michelle
Greenbaum Kid
Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice
Kid #2
Kid #3
Heavenly
Cherene
Angelique
Sauvignon Blanc
Waitress
Guy at Table #1
Guy at Table #2
Guy #1
Guy #2
Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)
Girl at Party
Teenage John
Plymouth PR Worker
Club Girl
Ellen
Crazy Guy
Stagehand
Waiter
Newscaster
Female Newscaster
Southern Newscaster
Husband
Wife
Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)
Ted Danson (uncredited)
Jared (uncredited)
Party Guest (uncredited)
Club Patron (uncredited)
Concert Attendee (uncredited)
Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)
Liberty Mechanic (uncredited)